K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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