my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
As shirtless as possible
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
