Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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