I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
