Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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