So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
