I must be too annoying 4 u.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Randomize
