That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
i need to put some appletini on your dick
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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