I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
