No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
