google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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