cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
