i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
