why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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