I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
