i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
