I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
