She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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