i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
