doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
