operation harelip BJ is a go
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
