I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
