Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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