NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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