her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
