If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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