Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
