I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I need a hoe opinion
go on
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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