her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
