help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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