So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
