im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
