I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
