did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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