names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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