So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
