awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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