I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
