Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
