i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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