i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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