Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You ate ashes out of my bong
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