Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Mom said you looked used
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Randomize
