me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
