So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
