Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
