how can u be prego again
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
