my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Randomize
