I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
