I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
