there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
