i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
