im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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