I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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